Parents need practice everywhere

I got this e-mail from Brian Largent, in response to one of my previous columns about youth sports and the overall long-term damage I think it may be doing to sports in general in this country.

“I guess the question is, with the “slide down the hill” in farther than midslide, how does a society get the situation back under control? And when does it all start?

Speaking for my kids’ YMCA-league sports participation, I’ve been pleased with the coaching at that level. Of course, we aren’t keeping score yet. Maybe that will change this year with a 6 and 7-year-olds basketball league.”

This was his subsequent e-mail:

“I have updated information on my ’When does it start?’ question. ... Went to my 6-year-old’s first ‘Y’ league game this past Saturday. Elementary school gym — 2 teams of 10 playing and the gym is packed. We don’t keep score in this league mind you — clock runs continuously for 5-minute quarters. Not a high pressure, big stakes league by any means.

“So I’m sitting there watching my son play — cheering and encouraging him — and at various points in gym are parents ‘coaching’ (yelling, cajoling) their kids — ’cut to the basket’ — ’SHOOT’ — ’Steal the ball’ — hmm… very little ‘pass to the open man’ or the like… The real coaches are trying to get the kids to stand in locations and find the kid they are supposed to be guarding — but if I was having trouble concentrating on watching the game with that going on — how does a 6-year-old pay attention to the coach, remember which basket to shoot at and dribble a ball without too much difficulty if dad is screaming at him from five rows back?”

“So the decline seems to start when they start playing defense and there is someone to ‘beat’ — keeping score doesn’t matter — a good game is measured by if you took your man on a crossover dribble and left him crying at midcourt. An overstatement? Maybe. Probably, but then again, these parents are “coaching” their children as 6 and 7-year-olds like their NBA careers (and future parental retirement accounts) depend on it. Of course in a world where you can find ratings for the top rated “Y” league “Biddyballer” from each of 32 national regions somewhere on the Internet (Oh God, I hope not!) Should we be surprised? I will bet you that somewhere here locally — there is a parent of a 6 or 7-year-old “Y” league player that has video that he reviews with his child following each game and practice.”

Brian, I fear you are right. And, I think you answered your own question, plus helped make my point from an earlier column...”it” starts as soon as there is organized play, often by “well meaning” adults simply in their minds trying to be “involved” parents.

Now, here’s some additional relevant information, this from the Syracuse Post-Standard. I was there to do the Syracuse-St. John’s game for television, and the morning of the game was greeted by two articles (the links of which are at the end of this piece). One talks about the problems in youth hockey (don’t fall into that trap…”Oh, hockey…he’s not talking about me. Yes, I am, remember? These are symptomatic of all youth sports all across the country), the other is a random sample of 10 youth games, and some observations.

Here is the start of the first piece:

“Two months ago, a punch that led to an on-ice skirmish between two boys at the Onondaga Nation rink prompted a shouting match in the stands that escalated to the point where security was summoned to intervene. The boys play on Pee Wee hockey teams with 11- and 12-year-old kids.

A couple weeks later, a mother from a visiting team was escorted out of a Morrisville arena for repeatedly screaming and swearing at a rink official. A father, also from a visiting team, was tossed out of that same facility for pointing in a menacing manner at a child who had checked his son during a game.

And last November, a man was sent to a Rome hospital after police responded to a melee that erupted during a youth hockey game at the John F. Kennedy Arena.

The Rome incident and another recent disturbance in Connecticut, where one father was charged with assaulting another father whose son played on a rival team, made national news. But other incidents, right here in Central New York, rarely leave the communities in which they occur.”

My point behind including that? Just a random Sunday, in a random newspaper, and the same types of problems I have outlined here. They are here. They are there. They are everywhere, and it is an epidemic, which manifests itself in problems on every lung of the competitive sports ladder.

But we began this article with two questions from our reader, Brian. When does it start? We answered that. But the more important one. What do we do?

I will tackle that next time.

Here is the link, both articles are included on this page:

http://search.syracuse.com/sp?aff=100&keywords;=youth+hockey

Bob Valvano is the father of a young athlete and lives in Sellersburg and can be reached via e-mail at bobvshow@yahoo.com. He is a former college basketball coach and current radio show host on ESPN Radio.