By TERRY CUMMINS
newsroom@newsandtribune.com
>>SOUTHERN INDIANA —
Public celling (using a cell phone in public) is up to our ears. Many cellers can talk on a cell phone and do other tasks such as put on lipstick while driving to work, shovel snow and use the bathroom. How would you like to conduct a pressurized business transaction or a hot romantic interlude with the respondent sitting on a commode? The human body was not designed to twist the spine into an S position and hold it there. This is another reason medical costs are out of sight.
Twisting the head and neck in such an unnatural position puts undue pressure on the upper body. Long term, it could lead to hearing loss, vertigo and a lower IQ. Not only that, constant use of the vocal cords induces irritation, phlegm and hoarseness. Our society is at an etiquette crossroads. Either we honor the right to privacy, or let every personal detail about our lives go public. I do not want to know what you had for lunch, nor am I interested in the history of your kidney stones.
You’re sitting in a doctor’s office waiting to be diagnosed. It’s crowded with sickness surrounding you. You pick up a health magazine loaded with germs. The guy sitting next you can’t take it any longer and cells his wife. Despite your nerves and a fever of 104, you can’t escape their conversation. Apparently, she tells him to ask the doctor if his nightly bed sweats is a heart condition. Apparently, she does not want him to die. He asks her join him in prayer.
You’re sitting in a busy airport waiting to board a plane. It’s been delayed because a flock of geese is flying in the area. Apparently, the guy sitting across from you sells ready-mix concrete, and is furious they’ve lost a truck. Shouting will not help locate it. I’d love fellow men more if not being forced to become involved in their personal lives.
In 1922, Emily Post published a book on etiquette. She covered all aspects of proper behavior in social settings including “walking on the street.” Emily said, “A gentleman, whether walking with two ladies or one, takes the curb side of the pavement. He should never sandwich himself between them.” What if both proper ladies are talking on cell phones? Does the gentleman hail a taxi? Emily also advised, “A young man walking with a young woman should be careful that his manner in no way draws attention to her or himself.” Does this mean the young man should pull his pants up, remove his lip and eyebrow rings and conceal his beer in a Dairy Queen cup?
Since 1922, phones and cell phones have gotten out of hand literally, and are now attached to an ear. Obviously, the American people cannot govern themselves, and that’s why we need big government to protect us from healthcare and regulate our privacy. Congress should hold etiquette hearings, and the Supreme Court should judge if a citizen has the right to hold a gun in one hand, a cell phone in the other and steer with their knees without a helmet.
It’s illegal the sell drugs within 1,000 feet of a school. Why can’t cell phones be banned within 1,000 feet of a citizen? City councils need to put sewer problems on hold. To prevent another kind of sewage, they need to establish “cell-free zones.” Smokers have to stand out in the cold don’t they? If I were a politician, I’d ban cell phones on golf courses, at Mozart concerts and in operating rooms. If I were a mayor, I’d ban the whole city.
Emily said, “Do not attract attention to yourself in public. This is one of the fundamental rules of good breeding. Shun conspicuous clothes, a loud voice, staring at people and knocking into them. Do not expose your private affairs, feelings or innermost thoughts in public.
Let me say this, good breeding doesn’t mean that much anymore. Most any kind of breeding will do. But do not expose your private parts or your private affairs in public. Look what happened to Tiger Woods.
Back in the old day on the farm, few homes had phones. We were advanced, and, occasionally, I would run to a neighbor’s home to deliver a very important phone message. It was not annoying or a burden, because it was the neighborly thing to do.
Contact Cummins at TLCTLC@aol.com
