By LINDON DODD
newsroom@newsandtribune.com
JEFFERSONVILLE —
I was inspired in a harmonious manner this past week and thought I would compose a snapshot of our area in a bit I like to call, Clark County — The Musical!
To the tune of ‘The Erie Canal’
“I’ve got an old mule and new snowplow,
Fifteen years on the Tommy Canal.
$300,000 study said to dig it now,
Fifteen years on the Tommy Canal.
You can always show the voters, you can always tell ‘em how,
Fifteen years on the Tommy Canal.
Holes dug, we’re digging them deep
down,
Holes dug, we’re going to flood this
town.
You can always move your neighbors,
with a city council and know how
In 15 years there’s a Tommy Canal!”
To the tune of the Ray Charles Classic, ‘I’m Busted’
“The payroll is due and the roads need paved too,
but we’re busted.
Tax collections are down, no new funds to be found,
and we’re busted.
A big stack of bills that gets bigger each day, The
county’s got bills that it just plain can’t pay
How in the world will we win again come
Election Day?
Cause we’re busted!”
We went to the state to see about a loan, cause
we’re busted!
Perhaps they could relent and throw us a bone,
cause we’re busted
The state laughed and looked at us in mock disbelief,
we’ve overtaxed and we’ve taken just like a thief,
For the next few years looks like there will be no relief,
cause we’re busted
Flat broke …. Financially stressed ... a bankruptcy tax
... debt-filled canal
To the tune of ‘Green Acres’
Misdemeanor Alford is the way to plea,
Nooooo felony conviction for me!
I won’t accept a jailhouse view,
Community service for just a week or two
And no if you ask — I won’t resign
A second-class city’s what we have in mind
My job eliminated then for a year or two
I’ll draw my pay with no more work to do
Charges still a wait
Whatever will be my fate?
Misdemeanor pleas be there!
To the tune of ‘Oh Holy Night’
Oh, Haven House, you tax man is now dunning
It is the time for the piper to pay
Peter can’t rob Paul, cause Paul he has no money
And you appear to have run out of grace
Where will they go, the poor, unfortunate people
There is not room at the Inn for them to stay
So call out with your pleas
Oh, please hear the middle classes
To give is divine,
Ohhhh to give, of yours and mine!
To the tune of ‘There’s No Business Like Show Business’
There’s no business like snow business, there’s no
business I know
Everything about it is so dashing
Just dig right in and then submit a bill
The city’s checkbook’s there just for the asking
When you are cashing, it’s such a thrill
There’s no business like snow business, just ask
and you’ll find
No audit or no question about your submission
Just write it up and wait for the OK
No reason to explain there’s just remission,
Some sedition, and then they pay
There’s no business like snow business I know how
it will be
Even when the courthouse isn’t open
Makes no difference, just clear off the walk
We don’t have a problem with your hoping
We won’t be scoping — the bill we see
There’s no business like snow business so shovel out
some more dough
Let’s go on with the snow, please — Lord, send us some
more snow!
To the tune of ‘Camptown Races’
Election races underway, doo-dah, doo-dah
Say whatever you have to say, Oh-dee-doo-dah-day
Won’t you run all night, won’t you run all day
Bet my money the incumbent’s win
When it comes Election Day!
Lindon Dodd is an Otisco resident who is a freelance writer and can be reached at lindon.dodd@hotmail.com
