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Columns

September 16, 2009

GESENHUES: Scary territory

A dear friend of mine scared the bejeezus out of her friends and family last Tuesday night. Her husband was wracked with nerves. Her closest buddies from high school were on the edge of their seat in nail-biting position. I, who was really more excited than scared, felt butterflies.

What caused all the commotion?

My friend — a mother of two, a wife, a professional in the academic world who has the word Director on her business cards — walked onto the stage at Comedy Caravan to perform her very first stand-up routine.

Our nervous anxiety lasted the first five seconds of her set. We held our breath until she hit her first joke out of the park (club?) and kept them coming with few pauses in-between. She nailed it. Her routine was more than funny. It was smart. It was original. Even better, it was stronger than most all of the other comedians-both first-timers and some old-schoolers who had taken the stage many times before.

The lesson my friend reinforced that night was something you can’t go through life without. The lesson of pushing your limits, getting out of your comfort zone, and doing something every now and again that scares you like nothing else. The bigger risk you take and the more you put yourself out there, the greater the reward.

I’ve tried my best to practice this lesson over the years, but it’s easy-and safer-to avoid. I found out Tuesday night that there is no better reminder than having someone demonstrate this lesson for you in the light of day (or, better, the dark of a comedy club).

After my friend brought the entire room to deep belly-laughs, she was aglow. There was no denying that her act of courage resulted in an immediate positive effect to her overall well-being. The continued results are still to be determined.

Many, many months ago, I started a blog to nurture and grow my writing voice. My goal was to write something once a day for a year straight. Through most of the first year, I shied away from politics and kept my political beliefs unwritten. Imagine me hesitant to write about politics-that’s a little like Glenn Beck avoiding over-the-top theatrics. But then Sarah Palin showed up and I couldn’t keep quiet. Besides writing about why I disagreed with her on my blog, I got the cahoonas to send a letter to the editor of this very paper in response to an op-ed that had been written in favor of the formidable (then) Governor Palin.

My letter got me a regular spot in our beloved Tribune and now you’ve been reading me ever since. The months I spent being scared to shake up things of a political nature didn’t get me anywhere on the publishing front — my ultimate goal. But then I go and swallow my fear and boom — I get handed a regular column.

Being fearful is natural and forces our human psyche to confront some pretty severe decisions. Raising our hand in class; showing up at a dorm-room 800 miles away from our home; asking our boss for more money; saying, “I do.” These are all instances that can be fraught with fear; but, many of us have done them and the rewards have reverberated throughout our lives.

The problem is that as we grow older and less pliable (and more parental) our chances to do stuff that scares us dwindle. We forget how grand the pay-offs can be. We get comfortable in our lazy-boys watching other people take chances on TV. We form the bad habit of trying to avoid failure.

There was always a chance that my friend could have bombed last Tuesday night. It would have been awful and we all would have shared in her evening of discontent. But even if her routine had not gone as planned; she wouldn’t have failed. Not getting on up on stage in the first place — not taking the chance — that would have been would have been the failure.

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