Election Day is near and politicians are pulling every rabbit out of their hat to persuade voters. The latest rabbit to get its fair share of airtime on the cable news channels? McCain’s robo-call campaigning.

Robo-calls are the recorded, automated messages that are dialed out to residential phone lines. They are the spam of the phone world. They are intrusive; they are usually offensive, spewing recorded messages versus an actual voice so that the listener cannot question the person making the statements; and, just like most telemarketing campaigns, they are annoying.

I have a few concerns with such campaign tactics. First, there are the real concerns like the chance that your 7-year old child may answer the call. Some of these robo-calls include phrases like “attempted abortion” and “terrorist,” words that can be confusing and frightening to a grade-schooler. The legality of robo-calling is also in question for many states. Indiana laws against robo-calls are so tight that many robo-calling service providers stay away from our state all together.

My primary concern with robo-calling is on a more metaphysical level. The practice exerts a lot of effort and energy to make personal contact with voters only to push ugly stories in their ears. What do we do with all the bad mojo being spread via these robo-calls? Why do they have to slam the other opponent? Why can’t political candidates use their call time to spread good news or provide positive messaging about their campaign?

What if the call was more of a top-of-the-morning-to-you kind of call to start your day on a cheery note? I could actually buy into this type of campaigning.

In fact, I’ve put together a few quick scripts the candidates could use to send positive messaging via the phone wires:

“Good afternoon dear voter. I know you’re busy, but wanted to take a few seconds of your time to comment on the upcoming elections. As desperate as times may feel, please know that we are all OK and are still very fortunate to live in a country where we can vote our leaders into office. So this November 4, please take your responsibility seriously and show up to vote for the candidate you want to be our great nation’s next president.”

Or ...

“Thanks for taking this call. It’s election time again and I’d like to encourage you to learn more about my and my opponent’s political platforms instead of being swayed by negative advertising and news channel pundits who have their own agendas. Learn more about what I believe at [insert candidate’s Web site address here]. Your vote is important, use it wisely.”

Or, they could just have fun with it ...

“Hello gentle voter. Your time is precious, so I won’t take too much of it. I just wanted to remind you that it’s time to vote, so get out there. And if you believe in [insert candidate’s top three selling points here] than get out there and vote for me.”

How much better would it be to receive a phone call like this from a candidate? A few uplifting words to make you feel good about things are a lot more tolerable than the usual personal attacks coming through your home phone.

From the limited research I’ve done, these robo-call campaigns do not break the bank by any means. One service provider who listed their costs online gave a range of $3,000 to $13,000 for under 50,000 calls to over one million calls. Personally, I think $13,000 to make one million inspiring phone calls would be a much wiser financial and cosmic investment than a million automated calls screaming accusations about cavorting with terrorists. But, I’m an optimist that way.

Fortunately, those of us in Southern Indiana probably won’t be taking such calls. I’m curious if there are any statistics on the effectiveness of squirmy political robo-call campaigns. I cannot imagine being swayed (or prompted to vote) by a recorded 30-second message that attacks a candidate. In all fairness, I can’t imagine listening to all thirty seconds of a recorded message. My usual phone habits are to hang up if the voice on the other end is a machine.

For the politically engaged voter who wants to be well-informed about each of the candidates, these robo-calls offer zero enlightenment.

Just like the millions of spam emails that are pushed out to innocent email accounts daily, robo-calls are distributed to the masses, usually spreading negative commentary, and offering no real information. But worse than spam e-mails, there are no ridiculous subject lines to forewarn you or elaborate offerings to improve your bank account or medicine cabinet. There is simply a dead voice at the end of your phone line spouting flimsy arguments meant to encourage fear and dread. Robo-calls are a waste of every voter’s time, and every candidate’s campaign efforts.