The time between when I have to dye my roots to hide my gray is getting shorter. Either my hair is growing faster than ever or the gray is winning a battle I’ve been fighting since 30. It drives me crazy. I feel like I’m on a losing team and the opponent is tricky and in better shape than me. The gray hairs keep popping up out of the blue (gray?) when I thought I had them covered.
This week, I considered letting it go. What would I look like if I let my gray grow out? It was a moment of ridiculous weakness in the anticipation of having to undergo another 45 minutes with my head covered in goopy L’Oreal deep brown hair dye No. 46. I knew exactly what I would look like — about 20 years older than I am now.
I’m 35 for another four months. My 30s have been so much easier than my 20s that I’m pretty sure my 40s will be effort-free. I’m not one who moans about aging or tries to fight it. I don’t foresee see any lasers or scalpels removing facial lines. Although, I won’t say never, as the whole “never say never” rule was one of those life lessons I learned a long time ago. I color my hair because I’m what I consider a prematurely gray-haired lady.
My hair started turning gray before I had kids. (My grandmother always told me I was advanced for my age.) It used to be a patch of gray that was at the start of my part. That patch has taken over my entire head at this stage of the game.
This month, I noticed my roots during an overnight stay at the hospital with my 4-month-old son. We had to stay a few days at Kosair so that he could receive antibiotics via an IV because of an ear infection that went haywire. You would think such circumstances would have a mom pondering the delicate nature of life and how fragile, yet simultaneously resilient, we all are, even at four-months old.
But not me. My thought? “I can’t believe I have to dye my hair AGAIN! And I won’t even get to do it until this weekend because I’m sure Kosair has some kind of rule about never dyeing your hair in your 4-month-old baby boy’s hospital room.” (Unless Kosair follows the never say never rule as well; although, it doesn’t seem like it should apply in this case.) I ignored my roots for those days and hoped my son didn’t notice them and confuse me with one of his grandmothers.
It’s aging. We all do it, and most of us wish there were things about it we could do differently. My plan is to try and savor the entire process. Besides the premature aging of my hair, I’ve enjoyed all that aging has done for me. It has taken most of the anxiety and desperation out of my life. It has helped me see the whole picture instead of agonizing over the details. It teaches and soothes and reminds me of what’s important versus what’s not worth worrying about.
At the end of this week, after spending days in a children’s hospital, I’ve been hanging out at another hospital where my 80-year-old grandfather is staying. He is not doing well and probably will not make it out of the hospital this time. While the death of an old man is not a tragic event, it is still sad for all of us who love him. My grandfather used to take me for rides on his Harley and bought me root beer floats whenever we were together. One weekend he picked me up from my house for a surprise trip. We ended up touring Graceland; one of my best road trips ever and I wasn’t even a teenager.
My grandfather still has a full head of hear and it is not gray or silver. It’s a beautiful shiny white. The same white I remember it being when he used to hold me on his lap. I sat beside his hospital bed the other night holding his hand and softly patting his hair atop his forehead. I thought about how lucky I will be if all I have to worry about at the end of my aging process is a few gray hairs. I hope by then, my hair will be the same shiny white as my grandfather’s. If I am fortunate enough to inherit his hair color, I wouldn’t think twice about covering it with deep brown dye. I will let it grow long and wispy and wear shirts that say, “I’m 80 and love it.”
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Discussion
GESENHUES: An age old story
- Columns
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CLERE: Walkout is absurd
The walkout by Indiana House Democrats entered its third week yesterday as tensions continued to rise and misinformation proliferated.
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LADD: New Albany has new energy
New Albany is evolving. Public art has become more prevalent in the downtown, drawing more locals and outside visitors to our community; bringing more publicity.
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HARBESON: The compromising nature of compromise
But there’s nothing inherently wrong with the concept of compromise. This is simply an example of how government coercion can skew and twist any concept beyond its original meaning and purpose.
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RESCHKE: My Amazing Ohio River Bridges Project Plan
The point of sharing this memory is that once we have tolls, they will be there for as long as the bridges exist and the dollar price for frequent commuters that’s been proposed is the cheapest those tolls will ever be.
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MOORE: The system can still work
On the local scene, services like Jerry Westmoreland’s recovery services, Bliss House, the Drug Courts (adult and juvenile) and the like are proper uses of this alcohol and drug fund money. Families in need due to a member having an addiction that affects all of them seem appropriate beneficiaries, too.
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BEAM: As ‘Time’ goes by: A magazine’s maternal ploy
What does disgust me is the way Time used the cover photo to paint an inaccurate picture of attachment parenting and, some could argue, motherhood.
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HAYDEN: For many, voting didn’t count for much
Three-fourths of Indiana voters who did vote, did so in the Republican primary. That makes sense: The Lugar-Mourdock contest was the marquee race, so plenty of Democrats sat it out.
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HOWEY: Mourdock, Donnelly and the great divide
An hour after Mourdock made that explanation, U.S. Rep. Joe Donnelly met with reporters at Ralph’s Great Divide restaurant. Donnelly insisted the site was chosen because “they have great meatloaf,” but used the place as a metaphor that the contrast between him and Mourdock “cannot be clearer.”
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CUMMINS: Where did the Sabbath day go?
In the old days the little towns and rural areas across America, the churches were a vital part of our lives. They were sacred places where we received moral instruction and guidance.
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DODD: The total package
One of the character traits anyone must possess in order to have a happy, fulfilled life is to know your own strengths. Even more important is to know your weaknesses and shortcomings. If you don’t think you have any or don’t recognize your own, someday after you get married they will be made imminently clear to you.
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