The time between when I have to dye my roots to hide my gray is getting shorter. Either my hair is growing faster than ever or the gray is winning a battle I’ve been fighting since 30. It drives me crazy. I feel like I’m on a losing team and the opponent is tricky and in better shape than me. The gray hairs keep popping up out of the blue (gray?) when I thought I had them covered.
This week, I considered letting it go. What would I look like if I let my gray grow out? It was a moment of ridiculous weakness in the anticipation of having to undergo another 45 minutes with my head covered in goopy L’Oreal deep brown hair dye No. 46. I knew exactly what I would look like — about 20 years older than I am now.
I’m 35 for another four months. My 30s have been so much easier than my 20s that I’m pretty sure my 40s will be effort-free. I’m not one who moans about aging or tries to fight it. I don’t foresee see any lasers or scalpels removing facial lines. Although, I won’t say never, as the whole “never say never” rule was one of those life lessons I learned a long time ago. I color my hair because I’m what I consider a prematurely gray-haired lady.
My hair started turning gray before I had kids. (My grandmother always told me I was advanced for my age.) It used to be a patch of gray that was at the start of my part. That patch has taken over my entire head at this stage of the game.
This month, I noticed my roots during an overnight stay at the hospital with my 4-month-old son. We had to stay a few days at Kosair so that he could receive antibiotics via an IV because of an ear infection that went haywire. You would think such circumstances would have a mom pondering the delicate nature of life and how fragile, yet simultaneously resilient, we all are, even at four-months old.
But not me. My thought? “I can’t believe I have to dye my hair AGAIN! And I won’t even get to do it until this weekend because I’m sure Kosair has some kind of rule about never dyeing your hair in your 4-month-old baby boy’s hospital room.” (Unless Kosair follows the never say never rule as well; although, it doesn’t seem like it should apply in this case.) I ignored my roots for those days and hoped my son didn’t notice them and confuse me with one of his grandmothers.
It’s aging. We all do it, and most of us wish there were things about it we could do differently. My plan is to try and savor the entire process. Besides the premature aging of my hair, I’ve enjoyed all that aging has done for me. It has taken most of the anxiety and desperation out of my life. It has helped me see the whole picture instead of agonizing over the details. It teaches and soothes and reminds me of what’s important versus what’s not worth worrying about.
At the end of this week, after spending days in a children’s hospital, I’ve been hanging out at another hospital where my 80-year-old grandfather is staying. He is not doing well and probably will not make it out of the hospital this time. While the death of an old man is not a tragic event, it is still sad for all of us who love him. My grandfather used to take me for rides on his Harley and bought me root beer floats whenever we were together. One weekend he picked me up from my house for a surprise trip. We ended up touring Graceland; one of my best road trips ever and I wasn’t even a teenager.
My grandfather still has a full head of hear and it is not gray or silver. It’s a beautiful shiny white. The same white I remember it being when he used to hold me on his lap. I sat beside his hospital bed the other night holding his hand and softly patting his hair atop his forehead. I thought about how lucky I will be if all I have to worry about at the end of my aging process is a few gray hairs. I hope by then, my hair will be the same shiny white as my grandfather’s. If I am fortunate enough to inherit his hair color, I wouldn’t think twice about covering it with deep brown dye. I will let it grow long and wispy and wear shirts that say, “I’m 80 and love it.”
Columns
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Discussion
GESENHUES: An age old story
- Columns
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CLERE: Walkout is absurd
The walkout by Indiana House Democrats entered its third week yesterday as tensions continued to rise and misinformation proliferated.
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LADD: New Albany has new energy
New Albany is evolving. Public art has become more prevalent in the downtown, drawing more locals and outside visitors to our community; bringing more publicity.
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DODD: An unexpected Angel
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STAWAR: The souvenir state of America
Recently, my wife Diane and I spent the day aboard the Belle of Cincinnati with our daughter’s family. We all had a good time, even though the diesel-powered Cincinnati attraction isn’t a real steamboat, like our own Belle of Louisville, and despite the fact that it poured down rain the whole time.
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NASH: Making a Memorial vacation
Memorial Day weekend is upon us which brings us to the start of the summer travel season. With the mild winter we had around here most schools didn’t have much in terms of snow make-up days so many kids have already finished up their semesters and are ready to get on with their holiday. Not to worry parents it will only be a couple of weeks before the back-to-school sales kick in and in no time at all it will be time for those youngsters to go back.
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HARBESON: A handy little idea
After having worked hard the past few months, I now have something new to add to my resume — “I was Lead Project Manager for a major construction venture, supervising every aspect in the creation of a privately funded community building.”
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MORRIS: Nancy Hogan was more than just an employee
Pulling into The Tribune parking lot each morning was pretty uneventful in the old days. Nothing good happens between 5:30 and 6 a.m. Nothing at all.
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HAMILTON: Is this really the best we can do?
As you know if you pay attention to national affairs, the United States faces a perfect fiscal storm at the end of this year. A confluence of deadlines and policy triggers unlike anything I can remember in a half-century of public life will produce massive budget cuts and serious tax increases amounting to a 3.5 percent hit on the nation’s Gross Domestic Product.
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BEAM: Lost memories found
As time elapses, so do our memories. I forget things now. I can’t remember his height. How did he curl his lips into that sardonic, wholehearted smile? I only recall flashes of a moment. Wearing his jacket at prom. His golf clubs in the back of his old, golden car. Notes passed in the hallway. Listening to Boys to Men in his basement.
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STANCZYKIEWICZ: A gift for mom and dad
Two strategies for parents are important. First, parents need to model for children how to disagree. “When you’re talking with your spouse and you’re whining and complaining and nagging, you shouldn’t be too surprised when your young person does the same thing,” Allen said. “We need to be good role models.”
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