How can you possibly make a profit from a store peddling nothing but M&M;’s? And what if you opened a two-story huge retail M&M; outlet in the most expensive price per square foot of retail real estate in the world? And what if your closest competition was a retail store that sold nothing but Hershey chocolates?

Welcome to Times Square in downtown Manhattan, New York. This area is kind of like a retail version of the Vegas strip where the excess becomes the norm and the norm is anything but normal. The neon lights up the night like a multi-colored search spotlight and the words, “The city that never sleeps,” are more than just a line from a Sinatra classic.

Kim, Cameron, and I spent a few days over the school fall break in New York. It was a whirlwind long weekend filled with long days hoofing it through the garment district, Greenwich Village, Chinatown, and the SoHo, NoHo and Brighton districts. We spent an average of 6-7 hours per day beating the pavement to get a flavor of the city. Evenings were spent enjoying the carnival like atmosphere of Times Square and enjoying vastly overpriced food and drink.

An order of toast at the Crowne Plaza where we stayed would run you $6 (not sure if the jam was included or extra). After one particularly long day Kim and I enjoyed one beer each that totaled $15 (plus tax). We were given complimentary breakfast tickets for 3 days which would have set us back $32 per ticket (a three day total for the three of us would have been $288 for breakfast)! I can’t say enough how much fun it is to visit New York. How any working person could afford to live there is beyond me.

The people we encountered on the street were absolutely wonderful. Never did we experience anything but helpfulness and kindness from the people who we bothered for information, directions, etc. Whether it was early dawn or well after dark any concerns about safety were non-existent in Manhattan.

The family took in a live taping of the Live with Regis and Kelly show. Cameron loved his first time experience to watch the production of a television show that he had only seen from the other side of the screen. The hosts were fantastic and walked into and conversed with the studio audience between breaks. Kelly is as cute and perky as she is nice just as she is onscreen. She is however about as thin as a person can be without being labeled anorexic. However, it is obvious she is a physical fitness/gym nut as she is a very muscular anorexic! Regis looks 15 years younger than his age in person except for the hip ailment that had him in obvious discomfort the day we were there. Except that Kim had to wake us up at 5:30 a.m. to arrive on time to stand in line (after bedding down after 1 a.m. the previous night), it was a fun morning.

While awaiting our seating for a live taping of the Live with Regis and Kelly show we made friends and shared personal stories with a Canadian mother and daughter — respectively Armida Cress and Christie Cowlson (I promised I would write about our encounter and send them a copy of the column so they could be famous for a day in Southern Indiana and likewise I would be read internationally).

It was very usual to see some live tapings, interviews, and shows in and around Times Square. The percussion group, Stomp, put on a free mini-show. Some Latin superstar, Paulina, performed. Although we had no idea who she was, the Latin audience we found ourselves in the middle of treated her like a superstar. She was young, real pretty and rather scantily clad for a cool, brisk, and windy day, so I didn’t mind listening to a song or two.

I would suggest that there are more Starbucks in New York than anywhere on the planet. In between the two Starbucks that bookend some city blocks there are local coffee shops. On almost every block there are bakeries or other pastry and/or chocolate shops. You might think with the more than fifteen hours in three days that we spent walking throughout the city I might have lost a pound or two. An assortment of fresh doughnuts, chocolate-covered coconut macaroons and multiple pizza slices never allowed that to happen. It was break-even at best and if I were a betting man I would take the over!

We were told that 2/3’s of all of the 70,000 plus automobiles on the street at any time were taxis. Taxis and limousines are as common on the streets of New York as trees are in the countryside of Otisco. Traffic appears to be a chaotic nightmare that somehow allows drivers to awaken safely at their destination. I am pretty sure I would never try to drive in the city. I used to drive routinely in Chicago but I was in my early twenties then when I had much more nerve.

Did I mention that two eggs at our hotel were just $9 (add the $6 for toast and whatever the bacon costs and you have your breakfast paid for)? At that M&M; store you could buy a 1 pound bag of the hard shell coated candy for a mere $12.99 plus tax. We made Kim take the M&M; personal evaluation and the futuristic scanning machine deemed her to be the gold M&M; type. Cameron and I were chanting aloud for green. It’s an inside family joke. Yep, the people in the store were staring at us like we were morons as well!

I always find vacation trips to be the very best quality time spent and a bonding experience that is second to none. You do fun things without the time deadlines and work pressures of the day. You spend money like you have it to throw away on things for which you would never pay that price back home. And mostly, we laughed a lot. Traveling experiences broaden personal horizons and allow people to understand cultural and regional differences. It’s a great way to discover that America consists of very broad and wide-ranging places that can be so different yet retain so much in common.

The Dodds take Manhattan. I know that sounds like a plot outline for a bad sitcom. We didn’t as much take a bite out of the Big Apple- more like a light nibble. There is only one bad aspect to our trip. I think Kim and Cameron are now Yankee fans. You know what they say about once having been to the big city how hard it is to go back to the farm. Sunday afternoon Cameron was commenting about how quiet and boring it was without Times Square right outside his window. Yep, that New York City is nothing like Otisco!

Lindon Dodd is an Otisco resident who is a freelance writer and can be reached at lindon.dodd@hotmail.com