BY KELLEY CURRAN
This column was supposed to be about perception and communication in the context of people of differing perspectives and how that affects how they understand the same set of information.
The examples were going to be the president’s new plan for Afghanistan, the recent recommendations about breast cancer screenings and, locally, Jeffersonville Mayor Tom Galligan’s and my different opinions on the value of someone’s quote.
Then irony struck. As usual, as I began writing this column, I got on the computer and started playing Spider Solitaire and reading e-mails back and forth while easing into anything resembling work. I checked the friends and family e-mail account before the one related to writing, knowing both were probably full since I haven’t been able to get online in the past several days.
The very first e-mail I opened, because it seemed it would be the most stress-free, was from a guy I really like, the husband of one of my favorite geniuses, and was actually a posting to an e-mail discussion list we both participate in. It was in reference to last week’s column.
“‘Older white males are a minority ... where is being a hateful jerk going to get you 10 years from now?’
‘Anyone else feeling sensitive about being lumped into a general definition of a group and being called a hateful jerk? Many bigots don’t realize they are being offensive.”
I was and still am horrified. I did not, did not, did not, in any way, mean to imply that all older white males acted this way and/or were hateful jerks. I am so, so sorry if anyone took my words to mean this and were offended in any way.
Older white guys are some of my favorite people. My dad and grandpas meet this definition, and if they were hateful jerks of the type that were under discussion in the column, I wouldn’t have turned out so well.
I really don’t believe anything like my friend’s interpretation, and am very sorry if anyone was offended. I’ll try to clarify some since, if this guy could read my words that way, he isn’t alone. Please, if you, too, sent an outraged e-mail, but to the account associated with this column, be patient waiting for a personal response. It may take me a day or so to find the courage to open the inbox or individual e-mail. I really am shaken.
The subject of the column was the way some ideas and comments sound to people who have been reared on political correctness. The first specific example was someone advocating barring lifelong Muslims from holding certain security-related positions in government on the basis of their religion alone.
The guy I was talking about is, technically, an older white male, but I would not think to describe him as a hateful jerk, and tried not to in the column. His position was thoughtful and not rare but, to my PC-sensitive ears, it sounded wrong.
The second individual example I gave — a guy who always is saying mean, derogatory comments about minorities and anyone he disagrees with and never engaging in thoughtful, rational discussion who told a stupid Obama/black joke — is a hateful jerk, and older, white and male. It was he and anyone else who could fit the shoe I was thinking of and intending that comment for.
Even in the case of the last example I gave, a Thanksgiving dinner guest who blurted out the N-word in the presence of several people, including kids, I don’t think all that terrible of the guy. He said something inappropriate in the presence of people who were younger and more sensitive to the word and suffered a correction for it, but there’s no reason to believe he spends a lot of time and energy hating.
Though younger people, women and minorities certainly say things that could be taken as racist, insensitive, politically incorrect or offensive, I don’t often hear the type mean-spirited ugliness toward people of different groups from them personally and locally.
The individual being discussed just before the cited column comment is older, but not old, white and male. I exempted much older people of all types from criticism for a lack of political correctness, as I believe most of us do and tried to point I’m not entirely sure being so PC-sensitive is right.
There was no intent to lump all older, white males into one group and call them all hateful jerks. This would be taking the traits of a few people within a group and applying it to everyone in the group which I thought I specifically rejected in the column.
I realized some people may be offended, but had hoped that would only be the type of unkind, unthinking, uncompassionate individuals under discussion. Offending them doesn’t much bother me.
For a guy I believe to be decent, who I am totally sure raised a good, tolerant kid I respect a lot, to believe I think badly of or would intentionally deride all older white men and take offended, I had to have really screwed up in trying to communicate my thoughts in last week’s column.
I am so, so sorry.
Jeffersonville resident Kelley Curran admits that getting hit over the head with an irony can really hurt. Write her at kelinawriterhat@aol.com
