One of the events on my calendar that I look forward to every month is the hour I spend with the kids at the Juvenile Detention Center. I go one Sunday afternoon every month. When there’s a fifth Sunday, I get to go twice. January was a five Sunday month.
When the population is down, they bring out all the kids who want to come to church, and I get an hour with the whole group. Sometimes there has to be two groups, and I get a half hour with each of them. Last week I got twenty minutes apiece with three different groups. Juvie is pretty full right now.
The kids come out of their cells dressed in orange jumpsuits and flip-flops, and holding their hands behind their backs. Some clutch bibles. They sit down in the same kind of molded plastic chairs that I have seen in hundreds of prisons, jails, and youth detention centers throughout the country.
Most of the kids are quiet, and maybe a little scared. Some are non-committal; they protect themselves by shutting down emotionally, and they participate as little as possible in what’s going on around them. Occasionally, there’s "tough guy" who tries to dominate the group, a "class clown" who attempts to distract everyone, or a "show-off" who isn’t interested in learning anything, but makes comments intended to embarrass the teacher or demonstrate how smart he is. These kids have this in common; they are all in pain.
Some have been caught using drugs or alcohol or have otherwise broken the law, including a few who have committed adult-sized crimes. Others are there because their parents cannot control them. Some are runaways. A few are there because they are in a difficult home situation and there is no other place to put them.
I am sure that there are other reasons for some of these young people to be sitting in juvie on a Sunday afternoon, but one thing I am certain of; they are all casualties in our culture’s ongoing war against the young.
It is getting more difficult for our young people to enter adulthood without being damaged emotionally, spiritually, or physically. Our children must endure many more negative and dangerous influences than we did, including the most obvious one; exploitation by an entertainment industry that for the most part caters to the worst impulses of our human nature. If you don’t like the programming or the message, change the channel, they tell us…but there are fewer and fewer channels to turn to for excellent, artistic, and life-affirming entertainment that does not bombard our children with an obscene level of violence or sexually suggestive/graphic images and dialogue.
Even more insidious is the pervasive media promotion of "philosophies" that encourage narcissism, irresponsibility, and dependence, and denigrate both people of faith and the God they worship. Since the indoctrination of our children in undemocratic and elitist principles cannot withstand public scrutiny well enough to be brought in openly through the front door, it must be snuck in through the back door under the cover of darkness. A battle is being fought for the hearts and minds of the next generation; when I visit juvie, I meet some of the wounded.
Today, a child’s right to grow up in a stable, peaceful home under the care of a loving mother AND a loving father (who are married to one another and not just playing house) is being threatened. Kids need a family much more than they need a village. They deserve answers to life’s biggest questions; "Who am I? Why am I here?" Mom and Dad help them find those answers. No mom? No dad? No answers. Not without a miracle.
We hurt our kids when we believe the "experts" who tell us that our young people are hormone-crazed animals who cannot control their sexual impulses. If we believe that, then we have already given up on the next generation. We are sending them a message that we cannot trust them to control themselves…so why should they even try?
We hurt our kids because many adults are lousy listeners. Most of us are too busy talking at our kids to have a conversation with them. When we do not listen, we send our kids the message that they aren’t important enough to listen to; their thoughts and feelings don’t matter. Then we’re surprised when they join a gang; a substitute family.
We hurt our kids when we only talk, and do not lead by example. Our kids are not stupid; they see more and understand more than we realize. You can tell a kid not to smoke or drink all you want to, but if your daughter knows where you keep your secret whiskey bottle…well, good luck with that.
Whether I get twenty minutes or an hour with the kids at juvie, it’s never enough…only time to play them a song or two on my National Steel Guitar, and then invite them to ask questions about Jesus, Christianity, the bible, or life in general. Once they are encouraged to do so, kids ask great questions. They have a refreshing curiosity, and an honesty we ought to honor and admire. I enjoy trying to answer their often challenging, perceptive, and thoughtful questions.
Many of the kids in juvie have done bad things, but are not necessarily bad kids. They are still at an age to be influenced in a positive direction. We would do well to love, nurture and protect them, and to stop delegating our parental responsibilities to others.
These kids are in juvie today. I don’t want to meet them in prison tomorrow.
Columns
JOHNSON: Return to juvenile hall
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