— My older brother, Allen, was no more than 12 years old when he asked how I would choose to die. I thought this was the strangest thing anyone, much less another child, could ask and my response reflected that thought.

Allen then offered his response. He said he would choose to die fighting for his country and saving someone’s life. He is currently in Afghanistan, serving the final months of his Army career, and I have never doubted he would give his life to save another.

I am reminded of my brother’s comments as I write this column about our Extra Miler, Clay Wrege. Clay is being recognized posthumously. On May 28, he gave the ultimate sacrifice of his life to protect a friend.

A considerable amount of misleading information was hurled upon the public about Clay and the circumstances surrounding his death. Clay’s involvement prior to his death was only to be a caring friend to a co-worker in need. He offered his friend a place to stay after she left a bad relationship and he protected her from danger when confronted at his home.

After I learned the truth about Clay from a friend of his family, I invited his parents, Reed and Robbie Wrege, and older brother, Michael, to meet with me so I could tell Southern Indiana the real story of Clay Wrege.

To portray Clay Wrege as an Extra Miler somehow falls short in adequately describing who he was to his friends and family. Clay was an athlete, actor and leader at Floyd Central High School. Early on, he displayed Extra Miler attributes by stepping up to help anyone in need. Clay was called upon to act as an ambassador to new students at school, and he ensured everyone felt comfortable and secure in their new environment.

During and after the funeral, Clay’s family members have been comforted by many heartfelt stories of Clay’s friendship and kindness. They heard about Clay’s inclusive nature — ensuring no person around him felt inferior or left out. He honored each person by offering friendship unconditionally.

One young woman told of being nominated for queen of one of the high school events. She explained that she wasn’t popular and knew the nomination had been made as a joke. She felt humiliated.

When Clay found out, he rallied his friends and soccer teammates to make sure she was elected. Clay wanted his friend to know she was special.

Reed said, “Clay was a conduit for friendships … he was the nucleus that brought people together.” His mother added, “Clay was an organizer. He enjoyed gathering people together just for fun or to benefit a good cause and once shaved his head to raise funds for his favorite charity, Locks of Love.”

Locks of Love is a public, nonprofit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children under age 21 in the United States and Canada suffering from long-term medical hair loss from any medical diagnosis.

Although Clay Wrege was taken from this world far too early — just days before his 28th birthday — he leaves behind wonderful memories of a smiling, gregarious, kind-hearted and loving young man.

Clay’s brother, Michael Wrege, is having great difficulty dealing with his younger brother’s death. He explained, “Clay was just so outgoing … I can’t even tell you how I feel right now except to say I am extremely sad.”

When asked what kind of uncle Clay was to his two nieces, Stella and Molly, Michael smiled and said, “Well, he wasn’t one to jump in and change diapers, but he showed his love to his nieces in the way he played with them.”

He recalled, “Clay taught Stella karate sounds and moves and she was always overjoyed to be near him.”

The family smiled as Stella showed some of her Uncle Clay’s karate moves and Michael recalled, “Clay always claimed that Stella was the ‘raddest’ niece ever.”

Michael’s sadness was apparent as he stepped outside for a break. As he walked out, his father looked at his eldest son and was overcome with emotion as he said, “Michael has stepped up to help us through this tragedy and has done things for us that nobody should have to do.” He added, “Despite Michael’s own grief, he has provided a strong shoulder and the strength needed for the family to press forward.”

Pressing forward is just what this family plans to do. They are honoring Clay’s life by attending numerous charitable benefits and tree-planting ceremonies in his memory. The initial donations have been directed to Locks of Love.

They also have established the Clay Wrege Charitable Foundation, a nonprofit organization that will provide scholarships to Floyd Central graduating seniors involved in the theater program.

It is likely that Clay never thought about how he would choose to die, but he obviously knew how he wanted to live. He made every day of his 27 years count and didn’t hesitate when called upon to stand tall to protect a friend in need. He was just that kind of guy.

• Extra Miler Tip of the Month: Reed’s and Robbie’s eyes filled with tears when asked what Clay might have given as a tip to the Extra Miler readers. Robbie thought for a moment and said, “Live life to the fullest, have fun and make the most of each day.”

Reed quickly added, “Clay would probably also say that everyone is of equal importance. Look for the value in everyone, and meet people with a smile on your face.”

If you are interested in contributing to the Clay Wrege Charitable Foundation, a check can be written to the charity account number: 1032999 — Clay Wrege Charitable Foundation and mailed to: P.O. Box 770001, Cincinnati, Ohio, 45277-0053. The website is found at: www.claysfoundation.com/

— Carol A. Dawson is a resident of Jeffersonville and owner of EEO GUIDANCE Inc. If you have seen or been a part of an act of kindness or know an EXTRA MILER, please contact her. To submit an Extra Miler, a story, or act of kindness, contact Carol via e-mail: Cdawson@eeoguidance.com, mail: THE EXTRA MILERS — Carol Dawson, The Evening News, 221 Spring St. Jeffersonville, IN, 47130-3340