Turkey frozen dinners are one of the more pathetic things in life. They’re generally worse than other frozen entrees and feature unsavory versions of Thanksgiving classics such as instant potatoes and something called cranberry dessert.
Why would someone turn to the grocer’s freezer case in search of a Thanksgiving meal? Ah, you’re one of the unlucky few who work on holidays. Your only means of creating a Turkey Day feast is from the break room microwave. Maybe you don’t have a large family, or haven’t secured a dinner invite from one of your close friends. Or, maybe the thought of thawing a 23-pound turkey for three days and peeling 10 pounds of potatoes seems absurd.
So, if you’re in one of these categories but still crave a turkey dinner on Thanksgiving Day, we’re here for you. No, no — we’re not inviting you to our holiday dinner. A group of staffers and friends sampled eight frozen turkey dinners in search of finding the absolute best. The manufacturer might call it Honey Roasted Turkey Medallions, but don’t be fooled by the fancy name. At the end of the day it’s still a frozen entree — still pretty pathetic — but some are much better than others.
BANQUET TURKEY MEAL
RATING: 1.5 turkey legs
Banquet Turkey Meal — mostly white meat and gravy with dressing, mashed potatoes and peas
Price: 5 for $5
Nutrition information: 230 calories, 8 g fat, 25 mg cholesterol, 1060 mg sodium, 27 g carbohydrate, 15 g protein
“I hate peas ... and the peas were easily the best part of this meal. And the peas in question are a color I can describe only as “nuclear green” on the box.”
— Shea Van Hoy, editor
“The mashed potatoes look like paste and taste like the cardboard box the meal was packaged in. The turkey looks like cold cuts and the dressing was nothing but a few croutons scattered around the gravy. I thought this was the bottom of the barrel, and then someone confirmed it when they read ‘mechanically separated turkey’ from the list of ingredients. Even the tray is unttractive.”
— Roni Montgomery, staff page designer
“Gross! The dark meat tastes like bologna. I think the potatoes are made of paper towels.”
— Chuck Branham, staff photographer
“Is decent for the price. I don’t notice much difference between this meal and the others.”
— Daniel Suddeath, staff writer
“The potatoes looked like paste and I couldn't bring myself to try them. The
turkey looked awful too, but it ended up tasting surprisingly adequate.
Definitely the worst of the bunch.”
— David A. Mann, staff writer
BOSTON MARKET
RATING: 3 turkey legs
Boston Market Turkey Breast Medallions with mashed potatoes and gravy
Price: $2.66
Nutrition information: 290 calories, 11 g fat, 55 mg cholesterol, 1240 mg sodium, 27 g carbohydrate, 22 g protein
“The turkey is too salty! I would suggest a McChicken for a third of the price.”
— Daniel Suddeath, staff writer
“This turkey had a nice presentation, with bite-sized medallions, and the bird parts were swimming in gravy. The potatoes were a winner with the right amount of lumps and a nice flavor.”
— Shea Van Hoy, editor
“The turkey looks very appealing — like real turkey medallions. The potatoes are nice and thick (the most realistic frozen dinner potatoes I’ve seen), but they taste like the KFC version which isn’t a plus for me.”
— Roni Montgomery, staff page designer
“It looks really good, but the turkey is a little spongey. The gravy is good and ample — like gravy soup.”
— C.E. Branham, staff photographer
“This one tasted a bit more like turkey than the others. It's a more bit greasy, but in a good way.”
— David A. Mann, staff writer
HEALTHY CHOICE
RATING: 2 turkey legs
Healthy Choice Slow Roasted Turkey Breast with gravy, mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables
Price: $2.29
Nutrition information: 190 calories, 4.5 g fat, 20 mg cholesterol, 600 mg sodium, 24 g carbohydrate, 12 g protein
“The turkey was flavorful, yet just a bit gristley. That said, the side dishes weren’t too bad.”
— David A. Mann, staff writer
Elizabeth Goodman 11/21/08 “Healthy Choice is not my choice. The potatoes are so terrible they hid them under the turkey and gravy.”
— Roni Montgomery, staff page designer
“The vegetable medley, although a little dry, is tasty. Taters are hidden under the gravy for good reason.”
— Chuck Branham, staff photographer
“On the other end of the healthy taste spectrum from Lean Cuisine is this offering. The turkey was OK with a good texture, but the corn was chewy and lame.”
— Shea Van Hoy, editor
HUNGRY MAN
RATING: 2.5 turkey legs
Hungry-Man Roasted Carved Turkey with gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn and bonus apple-cranberry dessert
Price: $2.97
Nutrition information: 560 calories, 16 g fat, 40 mg cholesterol, 1600 mg sodium, 82 g carbohydrate, 19 g protein
“The Hungry Man meal was a huge haul, weighing in at more than one pound. But, we all know that saying regarding bigger and better. I might as well have eaten the box instead of the potatoes. I’m sure they taste the same. The turkey was a bit chewy, but the corn was passable. The dessert was super sweet.”
— Shea Van Hoy, editor
Elizabeth Goodman 11/21/08 “Turkey was chewy. Tasted better after Green Bay scored. I’m already missing mom’s turkey.”
— Daniel Suddeath, staff writer
“Pototoes are sandy, but the turkey and stuffing aren’t bad. Cranberry dessert — first off, it’s warm. That’s no good for cranberry jello.”
— C.E. Branham, staff photographer
“It was not unlike a turkey cold cut found pre-packaged in your grocers
refrigerated section. It’s tasty enough, but definitely way over processed.”
— David A. Mann, staff writer
“The turkey is OK, the potatoes are terrible and the stuffing is dry, hard and chewy. Not really fit for eating.”
— Roni Montgomery, staff page designer
LEAN CUISINE
RATING: 3.5 turkey legs
Stouffer’s Lean Cuisine Roasted Turkey Breast with cornbread dressing and cinnamon apples
Price: $3.21
Nutrition information: 260 calories, 2.5 g fat, 20 mg cholesterol, 670 mg sodium, 48 g carbohydrate, 12 g protein
“Roasted turkey taste with great texture. The cornbread stuffng is on target, and the apples are good with a nice tartness.”
— C.E. Branham, staff photographer
“At this point in our experiment I’ve seen a lot of frozen turkey, and this is the first that looks like a real slice of turkey. It tastes like roasted turkey and has great texture. The meal is low in fat and has no preservatives — it’s a win, win.”
— Roni Montgomery, staff page designer
“Maybe it’s because turkey is relatively healthy that Lean Cuisine — known for it’s more body-friendly choices — gets high marks in this tasting from me. The turkey and stuffing went very well together, as they should. The apple dessert was full of flavor and a nice twist from other offerings we tested.”
— Shea Van Hoy, editor
“This one was the only dinner where the turkey actually looked like turkey. Sadly, however, it tasted no better than any of the rest. The only thing that made it slightly better than the rest was it came with a dessert.”
— David A. Mann, staff writer
MARIE CALLENDER'S
RATING: 3 turkey legs
Marie Callender’s Honey Roasted Turkey with cheddar-bacon mashed potatoes, gravy and vegetables
Price: $2.99
Nutrition information: 320 calories, 10 g fat, 40 mg cholesterol, 1050 mg sodium, 31 g total carbohydrate, 25 g protein
Elizabeth Goodman 11/21/08 “Turkey is nice — no sponge effect. Maybe the loaded baked potato should fine its way to your Thanksgiving table.”
— C.E. Branham, staff photographer
“The potatoes, as promised, had a bacon flavor, a nice changeup from the rest of the meals. The turkey was awesome with a flavor of its own — honey — and the carrots were flavorful as well. This is close to what your Mom might make, if you’re Mom is named Marie and her food comes from a frozen box.”
— Shea Van Hoy, editor
“The honey turkey doesn’t impress me — way too sweet. But, the potatoes are top notch. They are flavorful and almost had the consistency of homemade mashed potatoes.”
— Roni Montgomery, staff page designer
“The best part is the brocoli. Probably because that’s all I tried. When you eat Thanksgiviing dinner, make sure yo get to the table early — unlike me — who missed out on the turkey.”
— Daniel Suddeath, staff writer
“Decent turkey but the winner here is the side dishes. Little bits of what is probably bacon in the potatoes were a nice touch.”
— David A. Mann, staff writer
SMART ONES
RATING: 3 turkey legs
Weight Watchers Smart Ones Stuffed Turkey Breast with classic herb-bread stuffing, gravy and buttery vegetables
$2.97
Nutrition information: 290 calories, 6 g fat, 25 mg cholesterol, 870 mg sodium, 42 g carbohydrate, 17 g protein
“Turkey circles! Just like the crop circles, it’s unclear how these are made, but it’s now apparent why they are made — to give a good, quick option for a turkey meal. This comes with a good variet of vegetables and the potatoes were pretty good. A smart choice, indeed.”
— Shea Van Hoy, editor
“The meal looks just like the box advertises. The veggies are good, the stuffing is like homemade — not just a few croutons dipped in gravy like the others. But, the turkey resembles cold cuts, which makes this Smart One not very smart in my book.”
— Roni Montgomery, staff page designer
“Kudos to the stuffing and gravy. I actually taste sage. It’s the prettiest to look at so far, but it’s turkey loaf. Enough said.”
— C.E. Branham, staff photographer
“The turkey was good tasting but a bit slimy. The stuffing that came with it was okay, despite tasting a bit like wet crackers.”
— David A. Mann, staff writer
RATING: 4.5 turkey legs
Stouffer’s Homestyle Selects Roast Turkey Breast with cornbread stuffing in a homestyle gravy with mashed potatoes
Price: $3.48
Nutrition information: 460 calories, 19 g fat, 65 mg cholesterol, 1400 mg sodium, 51 g carbohydrate, 22 g protein
“The stuffing is terrible, but there is enough of their tasty potatoes to compensate. The turkey and gravy is good — exact replica of Lean Cuisuine. Since they’re made by the same company you might as well save a few pennies — and calories — and go for the cheaper Lean Cuisuine meal.”
— Roni Montgomery, staff page designer
“Stouffer’s has another hit with it’s Homestyle entry. The potatoes were excellent and the turkey was serviceable. The stuffing added to the meal by being pretty decent.”
— Shea Van Hoy, editor
“The turkey is good to go, but the stuffing is slimy. The potatoes were given a extra boost with a dash of seaon salt or paprika.”
— C.E. Branham, staff photographer
PUMPKIN PIE
Sara Lee Pumpkin Pie
Rating: 4 stars
Price: $5.39
Nutrition information: 260 calories, 10 g fat, 40 mg cholesterol, 320 mg sodium, 39 g carobhydrate, 4 g protein
“The pie has a strong cinnamon accent. I think the spices are on track — just like I make at home. I love it.”
— Roni Montgomery, staff page designer
“The crust wasn't quite as good as Ms. Smith. But Sara Lee definitely knows
her way around the spice rack — making for a sweet and spicy piece of pie.”
— David A. Mann, staff writer
Mrs. Smith’s Classic Pumpkin Pie
Rating: 3 stars
Price: $5.49
Nutrition information: 280 calories, 14 g fat, 45 mg cholesterol, 310 mg sodium, 36 g carbohydrate, 4 g protein
“The middle was a bit runny so I avoided that part. However, the crust was crispy and all and all downright delicious.”
— David A. Mann, staff writer
“Pretty good. The crust is buttery, but the filling isn’t very flavorful. It’s the smallest of the three pies we sampled, and it looks like it was made in an assembly line. You won’t be able to pass this one off as homemade.”
— Roni Montgomery, staff page designer
Marie Callendar’s Pumpkin Pie
Rating: 5 stars
Price: $8.69
Nutrition information: 320 calories, 13 g fat, 35 mg cholesterol, 270 mg sodium, 45 carbohydrate, 6 g protein
“I hate saying this, but this pie was also scrumptious. Great filling, great crust. Maybe I shouldn’t be judging pies, being as I think they are all great.”
— David A. Mann, staff writer
“This pie has an attractive deep dish crust and the filling is delicious. For a whopping $8.69 you could probably make a homemade pie for less. But, if you’re not a baker you could purchase this pie and pass it off as your own creation. Your guests will never know the difference.”
— Roni Montgomery, staff page designer
