Does your offer of service or meals to a friend who is sick or suffering typically end with the words, “… just call if you need me, OK?” Generic offers are typically made with sincere intentions and if the friend calls, the promise is fulfilled; however, there is an inherent glitch to a generic offer of support. By nature, most people will not imposition a friend or acquaintance and the SOS call is rarely sent out.  

Our Extra Milers this month, Twyman and Sandra Patterson, didn’t make a generic offer of assistance to the Clark County Youth Shelter and Family Services facility in Jeffersonville. Instead, Twyman made a call to the shelter and told them how he and his wife wanted to help and then he asked if his suggestion would be helpful.  

Twyman and Sandra offered to provide groceries each month, and they wanted to do the shopping themselves. The youth worker who first spoke to Twyman was Brandi Haus. “Mr. Patterson called and asked if he and his wife could purchase $100 worth of groceries the first Wednesday of each month, and obviously we were thrilled to accept,” Brandi explained. “He indicated that he would be able to get a 10 percent senior citizen discount on Wednesdays, allowing for more groceries for the shelter.”

The shelter receives a considerable number of donations from the community in the way of food items and those donations help offset a rather large grocery bill. The average food bill for a week can be as high as $800 [providing 3 meals/ 2 snacks per day for 12 people]. Many of the area churches assist by donating leftover food from special events and at least one church also prepares meals for the children and serves them at their church.  

Laura Fleming-Balmer, Youth Shelter executive director, was pleased to offer Twyman and Sandra as Extra Milers because she and the staff believe they fit the description of being quiet-givers. Laura stated, “They have been bringing groceries for our youth for a year and because they are so quick and elusive, I have yet to meet them. She added, “The groceries are dropped off and they do not wait for any type of acknowledgment.”  

Laura met the couple through a surprise meeting this past Wednesday when the groceries were dropped off. Twyman was initially by himself, as Sandra wasn’t feeling well that morning. Just like Santa Claus, he spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, dropped off the grocery bags, then turned with a jerk. And before he could lay his finger aside of his nose, Laura and Brandi cornered the man with the gentle smile.  

Introductions were made and Twyman received a crash course on how he and his wife fit the definition of an Extra Miler. Laura explained why they wanted him and his wife recognized and Twyman did what all Extra Milers do; he clarified the intent behind the grocery trips was not for recognition. After further discussion, Twyman agreed to pick up Sandra and bring her back for the interview.  

Thirty minutes later, Sandra and Twyman walked in to the shelter with their arms intertwined. Sandra said he holds her up when she feels weak, but after being married for 54 years, it was obvious Twyman would be standing close to her as a matter of preference. Brandi asked Sandra if she knew why she was brought to the shelter and she said Twyman told her about the acknowledgment. She then let out a sigh and emphatically said, “but I thought this effort was supposed to be incognito!”  

When asked why they were helping the shelter, Sandra said, “It just makes both of us feel good … like we are making a difference for the children.” Sandra and Twyman are both retired school counselors; Twyman from Jeffersonville High School and Sandra from River Valley Middle School.  

Sandra is quick to pass the credit for their good deeds to Twyman. “He is the main guy in our project … I am just the support.”  Twyman quickly made it clear that the shelter project was a combined effort, adding, “In dealing with young people, we realized there is a second layer in their lives and this is the layer that includes things that are beyond their control … for instance poverty and single parents who may have little time for anything other than working multiple jobs to feed and house their children.”  

As there was a consensus across the room, Twyman thoughtfully said, “we hope these young people will one day pass it on.”

When asked to describe one another, Twyman said, “Sandra is kind and gentle … someone who is much better and accomplished than she thinks she is.” Sandra smiled and responded, “Twyman has so many talents and he is witty, romantic, and caring.” Twyman teasingly agreed with her statement and she added, “he is also sarcastic and witty, but those are things I love about him.”   

Each week Twyman tries to purchase special grocery items that may not be on the healthy food menu. He rationalized, “Kids need to have food items every so often that they just enjoy, such as pizza, ice cream, or Oreo cookies, so I add these items to the cart.”   

The good acts of Twyman and Sandra Patterson have not gone unnoticed by the young people living at the shelter. Brandi recalls one young man sitting at the dinner table doing homework when Twyman dropped off multiple bags of groceries. The boy was puzzled and asked about the man. Brandi explained Twyman and Sandra’s good deed of regular grocery trips. The young resident gave an understanding nod and said, “Oh, I understand, he must have had a kid or grandkid that spent time in this shelter some time.”  

Brandi, who refers to our Extra Milers as “adorable,” smiled as she recalled the rest of the conversation with the youth. She explained, “when this kid realized Mr. and Mrs. Patterson had no family member connection to the shelter, he was confused.”  He asked why someone would bring food for people they don’t even know … to a person like him. That day, Brandi took the opportunity to teach a young boy about the good hearts of Extra Milers. Sandra and Twyman Patterson,

That young man learned a lesson of selfless giving that day. He may never forget the example of selfless giving … the Extra Milers who cared enough to help out a group of young people who are going through difficult times and trying to find their way in life. If one day that young man chooses to pass it on, the long range impact of your good deeds are endless.  Thank you for being Southern Indiana Extra Milers.    



Extra Miler Tip of the Month

The Youth Shelter cares for as many as 12 residents at a time. Most stay no longer than two weeks. They are in need of many items to care for their young residents, including laundry detergent, paper towels [they indicated there are never enough paper towels], all types of toiletry items, cleaning products, etc.  

When asked what the shelter needs in the way of volunteers, they said they are always in need of house sitters. When staff are out with the youth residents and the house is empty, they need someone to simply be there. Because the house is a “safe place,” they are obliged to have someone present at all times. Surprised to hear this would be a difficult volunteer position to fill, Laura explained, “we have many guidelines to adhere to because we are dealing with children, and some volunteers do not like the lengthy application process.” Be an Extra Miler and assist the Clark County Youth Shelter either as a volunteer or with needed items. Their need is ongoing. The contact for Clark County can be made by calling 812-284-5229.   

The Floyd County Youth Shelter is also in need of supplies, food and volunteers. To learn about making a donation or volunteer opportunities, please call 812-948-5481.

— Carol A. Dawson is a resident of Jeffersonville and owner of EEO GUIDANCE, Inc.  If you have seen or been a part of an act of kindness or know an EXTRA MILER, please contact her.  To submit an Extra Miler, a story, or act of kindness, contact Carol via email:  Cdawson@eeoguidance.com, mail: THE EXTRA MILERS, The News-Tribune, 221 Spring Street Jeffersonville, IN  47130-3340.