> SOUTHERN INDIANA — My kids ask a lot of questions. Some are easy to answer. Others take a little bit of finagling. Honesty is the best policy, so goes the saying. But I’m not sure if this necessarily pertains to answering your children’s questions about certain past deeds.

During a drive back from Louisville last week, the boys tested this as they quizzed me about alcohol. I’ve always tried to tell the truth to the kids, except maybe in matters of holiday supernatural creatures. Then, I lie like there’s no tomorrow. I refuse to be the mom who killed the Tooth Fairy.

But other than the Easter Bunny and his friends, all else is fair game. Even alcohol. The kids see that their father and I occasionally enjoy alcoholic beverages. We warn them about the effects of too much beer and liquor on the body and mind. And since alcoholism exists in both our family trees, we also caution them about their increased risk to becoming alcoholics as well.

I’m not sure how children know that addressing certain subjects make their parents incredibly uncomfortable, but they do. Having a father for a lawyer doesn’t help. Taking a cue from dear old dad, my oldest decided to cross-examine me on the issue. He asked when he could taste some beer. Even though our last name is Beam and I do have some French heritage, I explained we still follow the legal drinking age of 21. He then asked if I drank before I turned that magical number.

Whoa nelly!

How do you tell your kids that you broke the rules without them thinking it’s OK that they do the same?

Child rearing experts differ in their opinions on how to address this question. Some think blatantly lying about your own choices or avoiding the subject works best. They believe telling children about your past misdeeds gives them permission to try them without reproach. Kids learn by example. After all, the parent tried it and everything turned out OK. What’s good for the goose is good for the goslings, right?

Other researchers disagree with this approach. Truthfulness should be a cornerstone of any conversation relating to drugs or alcohol, they preach. In a 2010 New York Times column, Dr. Sharon Levy said parents can share their own experiences without glorifying the explicit use. Make sure the stories have some wisdom that the children may learn, she said. And most of all, don’t be afraid to continue the dialogue started by your youngster. Studies show when parents take proactive steps in addressing these matters, their children’s risk of substance abuse decreases.

Back to the situation at hand. My son needed an answer. And although I thought about sharply stepping on the brake and screaming Bigfoot to the left, I instead faced my interrogator head on.

Yes, I said. I drank alcohol when I was younger than 21, especially during my early years of college. Several mornings, I felt like death warmed over because I chugged way too much. Remember how you had stomach flu this winter? Same thing but the toxins, rather than germs, overpower your stomach.

I did things during those times I regret, said things I wouldn’t normally say. Moreover, I could have very well sacrificed future employment opportunities if I would have been arrested for my underage exploits. If you drive a car when you’re drunk, you can kill someone. Yes, I rode with people like this before when I shouldn’t have. I was lucky. Other friends of mine weren’t.

During my diatribe, the kids kept asking more questions. My youngest son asked if he could get around the age limit by borrowing his brother’s driver’s license. I wasn’t sure if I should be scared by his illegal mindset or proud of his problem solving skills.

Only time will tell if my children actually listened to me. I must remind them at least four times to throw away old food wrappers. So obviously we’ll have this talk about such an important topic again. And again.

Setting a good example now must be a priority. How we lead our lives in the present matters more than the stories from our youth. As long as the kids feel like they can trust us, I have a feeling everything will be all right. Maybe that’s a lesson both parents and children can learn alike.