“Maybe this world is another planet’s hell! — Aldous Huxley



Please enjoy this week’s version of some scattered thoughts from a cluttered mind.

Why can’t we vote in any election for every office listed on the ballot for “None of the Above” so we can truly express how we feel?

Is it just me or is it hot?

I know so many people who know all the answers but don’t quite understand the questions.

Why do politicians like to take public credit for anything good that happens even if they had nothing to do with it but never accept the blame for anything bad that occurs while they are in office?

It is now officially easier to purchase heroin on the streets of Southern Indiana than it is to place a bet.

Sometimes I dream in black and white but other times the meaning is lost in shades of gray.

My favorite placard recently seen is: “A Libertarian is a Republican who owns a bong!”

In my 20s I probably knew a lot of Libertarians.

I might have been a Libertarian in the 1980s.

I don’t consider myself a Republican or a Democrat and the more I listen to the candidates I am not sure I am an American.

Let’s see my choice for president is between a man who made $250,000,000 by eliminating or outsourcing jobs and a man who hasn’t ever created one.

I once complained that I had no shoes until I met a man who paid $150 for a pair of Air Jordans.

Now that every kid who is alive has been given at least one meaningless award can we start having them work hard and compete for something that really is an accomplishment?

I don’t care what people think as long as we agree to it.

I have never lost my mind but it has sometimes wandered off for a while.

I was just thinking................

New ideas never get old.

I really have no philosophy of life — I’m just winging it.

They say “Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you.” Oh come on, name me one person you know that ever ate bear meat.

An optimist and a pessimist walked into a bar.

My son claims I suffer from nostalgia blindness — but I just can’t see it.

When I was a kid things were very different because I was a kid.

I often wonder if God ever just throws up his arms and goes, “What the …?

I sure hope the next president spends most of his time dealing with abortion, gun control and gay marriage.

Do you think a psychic’s last words are ever, “I never saw that coming?”

I believe in gay marriages but I see a lot of them that appear to be barely tolerable.

Boy that Adam must have had a great sense of humor to have taken such a ribbing.

If you ever just stop to think, please hit the hazard flashers.

I guess I’ll just have to cross that bridge when and if they build it.

Life is like a multiple-choice exam with no correct answers.

I understand how aircraft fly but I still don’t understand why.

If you Twitter love letters are you a tweet heart?

Politics is proof that you can fool some of the people all the time.

Is an anorexic just someone who’s starved for attention?

Reading an electronic book is like dating an inflatable doll.

I will now forever remember it as “ Batman — the Dark Night.”

Gee, now, I feel a lot better. See ya’ next week.

— Lindon Dodd is a freelance writer who can be reached at lindon.dodd@hotmail.com